It was only a few months ago that I wrote a letter to my unborn grandchild… seems so long ago now. So much has happened since then.
It’s a weird experience, there’s no denying it. One day you’re a mother, as you’ve been for the past 27 years and the next, you’re welcoming into the world, the offspring of your own child and your wonderful son-in-law. How did I get here? Go figure…
The transitional phase to “Nannahood” was a little prolonged in the final stages with a 13 day overdue situation. In all my nervousness about the outcome, I was beside myself. At the time I was sitting at home waiting for the next temp work gig to present itself. I wasn’t in an overly happy place and my mind was racing with all of the things that could go wrong, given my own history and my mother’s with losing children. It was a testing time.
Eventually, I was on the road to Toowoomba. A ten hour journey that began with Renee’s waters breaking as I left Newcastle. Being in and out of service on the New England Highway was, at times, excruciating… to say the very least. In some ways I guess, the road trip was distracting. I had plenty to look at, think about and so much more to look forward to.
After taking in the changing scenery, the carefully selected playlist on the iPod and the many miles of reflection, I arrived with a couple of hours to spare, in good spirits.
I liken the moment I first laid eyes on that tiny human to that line in the Dire Straits song about Romeo and Juliet… yeah I know its not that kind of love story, but it’s love all the same… “you exploded in my heart”… life changed for me, from that point on. Lorna Estelle Edge had entered the world and my life on 4th March 2016.
I know there are thousands of grandparents out there all feeling the same way. It’s a given. But when it happens to you for the very first time, it’s almost unfathomable. How can you understand how this little being has so much of an impact on you? I still don’t understand it. I’m just living and breathing it.
It’s also that cycle of life thing that you reflect on… the night before Lorna was born, was the one year anniversary of the night we were surrounding her Great Grandmother with love, waiting for her to pass. So many emotions and anniversaries around this time of year for our family. Renee’s sister Jessica’s birthday was just the week before on the 24th February. My own sister’s birthday was the 5th of March. Both babies left this earth way too soon.
Lorna arrived on her very own day in this life of hers. She wasn’t having any of that sharing. Her mum’s birthday was just 3 days later. A most wonderful celebration for all of us. I’ll never forget it…
Lorna was named after her Grandmother who passed the year before and also the most beautiful midwife who delivered both Renee and her sister Jessica 28 years prior.
My priorities have changed. I have a new obsession. I cannot get enough of this brand new journey. It’s impossible to put into words. It’s a miracle. She’s a miracle and I’m here to love her with all of my heart. I’m here to take the journey of motherhood again with my own daughter and cross the unchartered territory of support and love in a whole new way for my son-in-law. I’m here to enjoy the milestones with my own parents and my extended Toowoomba family. It’s a brand new world out there and I’m taking it all in. Now is the time that will not come again…